Radical redesign – how to radically become YOU.

Interestingly, I tried to “reinvent myself” so many times. To be honest with you, I stopped counting how many times I tried. From my professional path over to my athletic endeavours, to who I am as a friend, as a partner, as a lover. A never-ending, beautiful story of exploring the realm of my deepest aspirations, of my talents, and of how my personality is wired at its core. I have to admit, the journeys that I have gone through from a professional, physical and lifestyle perspective are rather unconventional:

• Professional – I started off in hospitality when I was 16 years old, hopping from one five-star establishment to the next and travelling the world, to being a technology advisor to CIOs and alike.
• Sports – At 4 years old, I was a passionate classical ballet dancer. At 35, I am a ultra-marathon trail runner with 20 races in the books.
• Lifestyle – Turning 18, I almost got married with the plan to settle down in Switzerland and having children early. During my 20s, this aspiration changed to pursuing my dream of traveling the world and living a digital nomad lifestyle.
  
  

I have to admit that inward self-discovery and exploring the personal, unconscious psyche is very exiting to me, and there is still so much out there that is just waiting to be further discovered. The journey of continuous self-discovery is something we can, and should, embrace proactively, alongside the personal self-development process which is taking place naturally as we go through life. The overall process can roughly be broken down into 6 different stages (see below), and should be seen as a transformative identity shift, essential to boost self-esteem, to foster a proactive mindset, and to living a fulfilling life. In essence, self-development is about taking charge of your growth and directing your life towards positive outcomes (Harvard Business Review, 2020).

Image 1 – Self-development stages

Source: inlp Center, 2024

The transition from one stage to the next may be referred to as identity change, which can be experienced at times as a smooth, subtle and pleasant process, but generally has a rather disruptive notion: it may be perceived as a roller-coaster-like experience that is challenging, frighting, and does not resemble to anything that you have lived through previously. It is a completely new experience, and therefore can be scary. It´s what I call radical identity disruptions, and these are necessary, as previously shared, to allow for personal growth, for building up mental resilience, and for continuously thriving in a ever-evolving world. Unfortunately, not every person is going through these stages successfully, and not many people embrace their personal identity journey and allocate this transformation the importance and times it deserves. Statistics indicate that roughly 75% of people actually get trapped in their daily life and busy schedules at development level 3 (inpl, 2023), focusing on demanding jobs, juggling with family life, investing into relationships, dealing with personal health, trying to spending time on leisure activities, and so forth. There is not enough for “personal you” time anymore, which brings a long a lot of additional complications to deal with, and may result in a sentiment similar to “feeling stuck”.

The good news is: it is never to late. Everyday is a great day to restart spending time with yourself, asking yourself some tricky questions, and reflect on where you stand, and where you want to be. It was a beautiful moment for me personally to realize that taking back the control of your life vehicle is a very empowering act, and understanding that I can drive into any direction if needed felt, and still does feel, amazing. When you go for a radical redesign, sometimes, these attempts fail, because it is NOT EASY. From the many attempts of trying to proactively re-shifting different areas in my life, let me share a short summary of hindering blocks to change which are critical to be aware of when aiming at fully embracing, living and executing change.

For the sake of remembering, let me call it the F-U-C-K-(I-AM-STUCK) model.

Absence of focus

“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” With time being a very scarce and limited resource, it is essential to have the right amount of focus to dedicate your energy wisely on what you are trying to achieve. Instead of making just a millimetre of progress in a million directions, you may rather want to channel this energy towards accomplishing the things that are truly vital, and contribute to helping you redesign your life. Ask yourself: Do I prioritize myself? Do I focus on what I want to achieve? What are the few things that matter?

Absence of urgency

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln” Often times, we want to embrace change, but the timing is not right, and there is also never enough time to think about it, to prepare for it, and to be properly ready for it. Creating a sense of urgency is important, because we sometimes underestimate the opportunity cost which dwelling in a state of mediocre happiness has, and the additional difficulty created if we remain too long in the most comfortable status quo. Ask yourself: Why not now? What do I loose by postponing? What do I win?

Absence of confidence

“Courage is grace under pressure.” Ernest Hemingway” Sometimes, motivation for change is there. Focus is there. Sense of urgency is there. But, sometimes, we have doubts of whether we can actually pull it off. Whatever it may be –  quitting your job, going for a new sports challenge, falling in love, learning a new skill, getting healthy – fear and lack of confidence can be very challenging, and difficult to overcome. It is important to understand the internal (my own voice) and the external (people around me) factors which can positively influence your confidence to then revamp your environment accordingly. Ask yourself: How badly do you want it? What is the worst that can happen? Can you keep living with the status quo? Why would you want that? Etc.

Absence of knowledge

“The only good is knowledge, and the only evil is ignorance.” Socrates” Radical, positive disruption does not mean to abandon reason and to recklessly jump into icy water. It is a reflected, a prepared and a somewhat anticipated act of transformation. A lot of times I noticed that I did not invest enough time into the preparation activities and gather enough intelligence about my planned endeavour, which resulted in additional challenges that could have simply been avoided. It is about allowing yourself to make informed decisions and take calculated risk based on research, based on your own experience, and based on the information from exchanges with others, providing you the necessary ease to go through the change process until the end. Ask yourself: Do I understand the implications of the change? Do I understand the implications of not changing? What are the risks? Etc.

To conclude, the approach of radical redesign of your life is a continuous journey that requires a pro-active, a curious and a challenger mindset. From experience, I can tell that the suggested approach is generally more successful when focus, sense of urgency, self-confidence and the underlying knowhow meet. This concept of radical redesign can be learned, and can only be mastered at proficiency level through trial-and-error. You should therefore not be afraid of failing, and embrace the noble act of getting up, again and again, and fully enjoying the moment once you realize that you made it.

Are you ready? Are you daring to take ownership of your future self? I DARE. Are you DARE yet?

References

Harvard Business Review. (2020). Take Ownership of Your Future Self. Retrieved28.03.2024, from https://hbr.org/2020/08/take-ownership-of-your-future-self

Inlp Center. (2023). Psychological Levels of Development. Retrieved 28.03.2024, from https://inlpcenter.org/